Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
