she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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