but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
