At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
