it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
