i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
