It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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