Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
someone owes me an orgasm
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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