I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Your penis caused this!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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