and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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