She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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