what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
