Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
