hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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