So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
