i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
