I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
