I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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