That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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