and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
