i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
