Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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