Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
