It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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