no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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