D3 body, D1 cock
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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