I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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