I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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