i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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