Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
