dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you didnt know i had herpes?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
