put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
