Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Alive.
So much puke
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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