Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
