you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we're making bets on your personal life
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
