Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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