dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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