Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
