we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
