just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
