Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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