Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
