Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
3pm strippers are depressing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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