lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
