nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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