Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
