Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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