Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
