similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
