I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
