ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
