Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize