FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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