Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize