I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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