he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
