I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize