You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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