i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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